//Vegan Kelly Rides Again

In the past, when I got bored, I'd visit Yahoo chatrooms and cause trouble, because I'm mature like that. One of my favourite identities was Kelly Kapowski, a lesbionic pyromaniac farmer girl from Connemara. I've been rooting around some of my very disordered files on my computer, and came across a few snippets from some of Kelly's conversations.

Here we go.

cky200243 (20:32:20): i have a pic on my profile
vegan_kelly (20:32:53): You look like my brother
cky200243 (20:32:59): is that good or bad
vegan_kelly (20:33:28): he is an asshole sell out
vegan_kelly (20:33:49): he obtained family farm land from my great grandmother and sold it
cky200243 (20:34:08): ???
vegan_kelly (20:34:09): now the cows are squeezed into a tiny field
vegan_kelly (20:34:14): we had to sell some
vegan_kelly (20:34:17): so we hate him

howru12003 (20:45:20): like to play?
vegan_kelly (20:45:56): I can play the guitar and the madra
vegan_kelly (20:46:04): the madra is a traditional irish instrument
howru12003 (20:46:17): yes i know
howru12003 (20:46:26): i was looking for sexual play baby
vegan_kelly (20:46:52): But you are in America and I am in Ireland
howru12003 (20:47:14): phone sex
vegan_kelly (20:47:44): too expensive
vegan_kelly (20:47:53): and ever since my father left my mother for that man he met line dancing money has been tight

mingelo (20:42:50): Did I ask U if U liked sex?
vegan_kelly (20:43:03): you did not
vegan_kelly (20:43:12): I don't believe in sex before marriage
vegan_kelly (20:43:19): the catholic church says it is wrong
mingelo (20:43:52): Why do priests interfere with young boys then
vegan_kelly (20:44:42): The Bishop says that those priests aren't actually priests, rather they are protestants who have infiltrated the church in attempt to sabotage its credibility
vegan_kelly (20:45:21): and to derail the reunification of north ireland to the south

vegan_kelly (20:58:18): i never get to party
forplae (20:58:31): not ever?
vegan_kelly (20:58:49): Síle Asal Beag Dubh had a party for her 21st birthday in her fathers barn but it went on fire
vegan_kelly (20:58:58): Someone said it was arson
forplae (20:59:25): so no parties since then?
vegan_kelly (21:00:12): no. mother said i wasn't allowed.
vegan_kelly (21:00:20): I told her not to worry.
vegan_kelly (21:00:29): they were never able to link the fire to me anyway.
forplae (21:01:27): how did the fire start?
vegan_kelly (21:02:03): Something I learned from my nan. she fought the english in the Aran War.
vegan_kelly (21:02:20): I took some gasoline from the combine harvester
vegan_kelly (21:02:49): And i put it in a bottle and BLAMMO
vegan_kelly (21:03:01): That was the last time Síle ever showed me up

vegan_kelly: Father says I'm ugly like my mother
vegan_kelly: She ran off with his brother for a new life in the metropolis of Kerry
rosy_mylovelol: I bet u have beautfill tits i think that
vegan_kelly: But we're not supposed to know about it
vegan_kelly: What are tits?
rosy_mylovelol: breasts
vegan_kelly: Oh. Ladybumps. I like those. When I'm showering at school I sometimes watch the other girls lather up their breasts
vegan_kelly: There's this one girl, Mary Harney
vegan_kelly: She makes me want to touch my dirty business
rosy_mylovelol: do u have big nipless
rosy_mylovelol: i like that
rosy_mylovelol: do u?
vegan_kelly: I don't know
vegan_kelly: There are no mirrors in our house. Father says they'll make us vain.
rosy_mylovelol: can i see ur beautfill nipless
vegan_kelly: What?
vegan_kelly: English isn't my first language. I must go now, electricity is expensive in Ireland